In the real world of sex, getting in the mood isn’t always as effortless as it looks in the movies. (Much like most things in life.) Maybe your once-electric sex life has dimmed, or perhaps it’s been a slow fade that you can’t quite pinpoint. Whatever the case, it’s helpful to know how to increase female libido and get back to feeling like yourself again.
First things first: a lower libido doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship. We can be content in a wonderful partnership and happy with our lives, yet still find ourselves wondering why our sex drive seems to have taken a vacation. And while it’s not a topic we often discuss openly, it’s actually pretty common. If you’re experiencing low libido, know that it’s completely normal, healthy, and OK. Let’s dive into what might be happening and explore how to reignite that spark.
Lauren Zielinski, MSN, CNM
Lauren Zielinski is a certified nurse-midwife with over 11 years of experience in women’s health and birth. She studied medicine at The University of Colorado-Denver with a focus on community health and birth center work.
What’s “normal” when it comes to my libido?
We’re all unique—and our sex drive is, too. Libido varies from person to person, and it’s influenced by a mix of factors like age, hormones, and the dynamics of your relationship. So, what’s considered “normal” is really up to you and how you feel about your own sex drive. It’s important to remember that low libido only becomes a concern if it’s causing distress, affecting your quality of life, or creating a significant mismatch with your partner’s desires.
Common Culprits Behind a Low Libido
In many cases, it’s not that your libido is “low” in a clinical sense, but perhaps it’s just not syncing up with your partner’s. This is where communication, compromise, and maybe even couples therapy can be helpful. Want to dig deeper into what might be affecting your libido and how to give it a boost? Let’s get into it.
Medications
Certain medications can have a surprising impact on your sex drive. The most well-known are antidepressants, particularly SSRIs (like Zoloft, Prozac, and Lexapro), and hormonal birth control, such as the pill, ring, patch, or shot. These medications can alter your hormones in ways that might dampen your libido. It’s not something everyone experiences, but if you’ve noticed a change, it’s worth discussing with your healthcare provider.
Pro Tip: The hormonal IUD (like Mirena or Skyla) or the copper IUD are less likely to affect your sex drive, so they could be worth considering if you’re looking for alternatives.
What to Do: If you suspect your medication is affecting your libido, don’t make any changes on your own—talk to your provider about your concerns. Sometimes, adjusting the dosage or switching to a different medication can make a big difference. It’s all about finding the right balance for your body and your needs.
Mental Health
Your mental health is deeply intertwined with your sexual desire. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can zap your energy and leave you feeling disconnected from your partner. Dr. Frederick K. Goodwin, a renowned expert in psychiatry, explains that “the whole process of sexual arousal starts with the ability to anticipate pleasure, which is lost with depression.”
What to Do: Getting back on track might involve therapy, medication, or a combination of both. Open communication with your partner about your needs and expectations can also ease some of the pressure and help you feel more confident as you work toward better mental and sexual health.
Stress
Stress is another big libido killer, and it’s something we all deal with. When you’re stressed, your body goes into “fight or flight” mode, releasing stress hormones like cortisol that can throw your sex hormones out of whack. It’s your body’s way of saying, “This isn’t the time for pleasure—we’ve got bigger things to worry about!”
What to Do: If stress is taking a toll on your sex drive, it’s time to activate some serious self-care. Drop a few non-essential commitments, carve out time for yourself, and remember that it’s okay to say no. The better you feel, the more likely you are to get in the mood.
Tips and Tricks for How to Increase Female Libido
Turmeric
From a taste and functional health perspective, turmeric is one of the best spices in the game. Turmeric contains a compound called curcumin, which has been shown to increase testosterone levels—a key hormone for boosting libido in both men and women. Whether you add it to your cooking (we’re obsessed with golden milk) or take it as a supplement, turmeric can help turn up the heat.
Pro Tip: Make sure your turmeric supplement contains at least 1000 mg of turmeric and includes black pepper, which helps your body absorb the curcumin.
Exercise
Movement is medicine, and that goes for your sex drive, too. Regular exercise improves heart function, blood flow, and overall well-being—all of which contribute to a healthier libido. You don’t have to be a fitness fanatic to reap the benefits; even a 30-minute daily workout can make a difference. And bonus: having sex after exercise can lead to stronger orgasms thanks to increased blood flow.
Read more: A Trainer Swears By Low-Impact Exercise—Steal Her Weekly Workout Split
Kicking Bad Habits
Smoking, excessive alcohol, and recreational drugs can all interfere with your libido by disrupting sleep, circulation, and brain function. If you’re regularly indulging in these habits, consider cutting back or quitting altogether. You might be surprised at how much more vibrant and alive you feel—both in and out of the bedroom.
The Takeaway
Your libido is a key part of your overall well-being, and it’s worth taking the time to nurture it. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to a healthcare provider or sex therapist for more personalized advice. Remember, sex is a natural and beautiful part of life, and everyone deserves to feel comfortable and fulfilled in their own skin. So go ahead, embrace the journey, and enjoy the ride!
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