The Fragile Pride of the Displaced New Englander

The Fragile Pride of the Displaced New Englander

Away in Tampa

I was there in the cheap seats when the man with Boston 
on his back tackled the giant bug. A shaded skyline that enfolded 
his shoulders, revealed when he frenzied his shirt over his head 
after Nathan Horton scored in the second—the Ontarian 
dispatching the puck so absolutely the net was compelled 
to take it in. As if to make something belong, you hack hard as you can. 
From the terrace level I cheered too—not for the goal but to make 
myself known. Displaced New Englanders never stop needing 
to tell you where they’re from. The bug was from Tampa—a woman 
named Kelly in a 10-foot foam exoskeleton who silly-stringed a man 
when his team was down and away from home. So fervent for a city 
he needled it under his skin. As security walked him out, he spiked 
a finger in her face—not Kelly’s but the bug’s, with the unwatching 
eyes—and snarled as the crowd cheered his ejection. Hockey 
gets violent. Players brawl. The refs allow it, the us-and-them-ing, 
and we take it for camaraderie: the refs, and the fans, and even me, 
indifferent to the game but not the need. Even Kelly, though it cost her 
the job. Now she lives in Chicago, custom-crafting mascot costumes 
designed to ride light on one's frame, and all machine washable.
Horton eventually got traded to Toronto, never leaving
the injured list, but I hope Canada consoled him. The Bruins took 
their loss and headed north, same as we would later that year, 
in a U-Haul heavy with everything. The tattooed man lives forever 
in a video online. In my memory, I’m right across the aisle, close enough 
to hear him scream Stanley Cup into the bug’s meshed mouth. 
But I’ve watched the clip a dozen times and I’m nowhere to be found.

Self-Portrait with Vermont Forge’s Heirloom Weeder

that I bought online one night, unable to sleep
and again intent on wresting order 
from the mess. On uprooting 
clover—even the four-leaf. I don’t believe 
in luck, maybe because I’ve mostly had it. I do 
believe in knuckling down. 
Yesterday, I potted the sprouted pit of a stone 
fruit I pulled from the compost. 
I’ll overwinter it in the basement 
where I can fret about its chances every time
I run on the treadmill. 
Exercise is supposed to be good for sleep. 
And lavender, though I cut mine back 
too hard and it’s not pulling 
through. I wish the garden gave me more
time to make good. Five months if I’m lucky—
not that luck exists. Episcopalians 
have prayers for the Natural Order, 
praising the God who fills all living things 
with plenteousness 
and I consider my plenty and if I’d make a good
Episcopalian and what else might be available
at Vermont Forge, 
what other instruments they make 
that could help me. Because in order
to endure, clover can’t be anything
but persistent—
like the faithful, reciting the words of St. Francis, 
who is said to have left his garden
wild at the edges and who begged of his God: 
Make me an instrument 
of peace.