Before he became a staple of late-night television, HBO was just not that into Stephen Colbert. The comedian, writer, and future host of “The Colbert Report” and the now-canceled “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” once tried out for a stomach-churning part in one of the most memorable episodes of “Sex and the City.” But, as he plainly put it, “Evidently, I didn’t have the acting chops to act like I had diarrhea.”
The anecdote came up during a 2021 “Late Show” episode featuring Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis, who mentioned that Colbert almost got a part in an episode of the groundbreaking HBO rom-com’s final season. After Nixon called Colbert “the one [guest star] that got away,” she reminded viewers about a subplot in 2003’s Season 6 episode “Pick-A-Little, Talk-a-Little” -– better known as the origin of the phrase “He’s just not that into you.” Series writers Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo would later stretch the simple concept that a guy might not like a woman into a popular self-help book and a star-studded movie, but in the episode, it was the starting point for a funny misunderstanding involving spicy food and a swift exit.
After Ron Livingston’s Jack Berger encourages Nixon’s Miranda to stop overthinking her dates, she takes the “not that into you” advice to heart. “Miranda dated a guy who then was trying to leave quickly after the date, and she kept saying, ‘It’s fine! You’re not that into me, I understand!'” Nixon told Colbert’s audience, referencing a character named Paul played by actor Nick Gregory. We don’t actually see the date in the episode, but do see Paul decline a coffee chaser and shuffle off down the street. “He finally had to blurt out, ‘I have diarrhea, and I have to leave!'” Nixon recapped. According to her, the cast was hanging out on the set of the recently ended sequel series “And Just Like That…” in 2021 when a writer from the original run of “Sex and the City” dropped a bombshell: “Stephen Colbert was almost cast in that part.”
Colbert missed out on a date with Sex and the City’s Miranda
Colbert confirmed as much, admitting that he auditioned for the part but didn’t get it since he “wasn’t a convincing sick person.” At the time, the comedian had already written for “Saturday Night Live,” appeared on “The Daily Show,” and co-created and starred in the wild Amy Sedaris-led comedy series “Strangers With Candy.” Still, he wasn’t yet a household name, and he apparently also wasn’t right for the part of a man whose meal went right through him on an otherwise decent date. The audition did have an impact on Colbert, though, he told Nixon and Davis that he still thinks of the character’s opening line, “That was some spicy biryani!” whenever he opens a menu at an Indian restaurant.
The host is in good company, joining a long list of actors considered for parts in “Sex and the City” that also reportedly includes Mädchen Amick, Dana Delaney, Aidan Quinn, and Alec Baldwin, among others. Plus, in a roundabout way, Colbert actually did make it into the world of “Sex and the City,” eventually.
In Season 1 of “And Just Like That…” the show used a cardboard cutout of the Emmy winner for a plot involving a school fundraising auction put on by Charlotte and Lisa (Nicole Ari Parker). While no one bid on a date with Carrie (Sarah Jessica-Parker), we can only assume that tickets to “The Late Show” -– advertised in the episode by cardboard Colbert –- sold like hotcakes. “He should’ve auditioned,” Colbert quipped. “Maybe he’s a better actor than I am.”
