After several episodes of Bartise suddenly finding Nancy unattractive, things got more tense when Nancy and Bartise had a disagreement on abortion in Episode 6. She had a reasonable perspective on the topic that Bartise refused to try and understand. They ended the conversation on different terms, but not necessarily in a fight.
While Nancy was introducing herself to her future in-laws, Bartise cut her off and steered the conversation back to their “fights,” talking about debt and their abortion conversation. Less than one hour into her first meeting with the family, Bartise threw her into the lion’s den, seemingly because he knew how his family would react. (The Taylor Swift lyric “casually cruel in the name of being honest” comes to mind.) Bartise’s sister cried about Nancy’s perspective on abortion, his mother said she disagreed but respected it, and his father was silent.
“The topic of abortion definitely worries me,” Nancy said in a confessional after the tense moment subsided. “I wasn’t afraid to bring up the topic, but I know that a lot of people don’t understand. Although I was sad to see her cry, I was hoping that they would understand why I have my own beliefs.”
Bartise then framed this conversation weirdly in a confessional, as if it wasn’t caused by him at all: “I did want my sister’s approval, but it’s not my sister’s decision to make. It’s my decision to make, and I’ve known Nancy a lot longer than my sister and mom and dad. So now it’s on me to go from here and maturely understand what happened tonight, but also weigh what has happened up until tonight … Seeing my family react the way they did with that information, this is the biggest thing for me to have to get through.”
It seems Bartise is intentionally ignoring his fault here. This familial disagreement wasn’t something unexpected and challenging — it only happened because he brought it up unprompted. His shift in tone and perspective is a massive red flag.
Remember when Andrew faked tears after Nancy rejected his proposal in the pods? Both of these men seem determined to frame things in their favor to give Nancy the blame. Interestingly enough, Andrew popped back in in Episode 7 when the couples were out for drinks. Bartise got jealous when he saw Nancy and Andrew talking, and later at home, they addressed it. Bartise was incessantly vocal about Nancy not being his “typical” type of woman in terms of appearance, constantly saying Raven was his ideal woman. He eventually started withdrawing the physical affection he gave so freely before. Nancy got real about the hurt this was causing her.
“No matter what I do, I will never be your type,” she said. “And the fact that I love you for who you are, but you don’t love me for who I am…”
“I do love you, though. That’s why I proposed to you in the pods,” Bartise responded. “But listen, looks do f**king matter.”
Bartise then listed issues about Nancy’s ex, whom she was not secretive about like Bartise claimed. He brought up the abortion issue again, saying these were difficult, unfair things she forced him through, when she was mindful and communicative through all of this. To top it all off, Bartise asked how he’s supposed to move forward through these “setbacks” when “I already have this underlying problem” of thinking she’s not hot enough for him. Girl, dump him. Immediately after this convo, Matt called Bartise and Nancy in a rage over Colleen going to a club.
“You’ve been looking for a f**king problem the whole time here,” Bartise said, not seeing the irony in his words. He told Matt to count his blessings that he at least found his fiancée attractive. Nancy, I repeat: dump him.
All seemed to improve in Episodes 8 through 10 for Nancy and Bartise, who both expressed their commitment to each other repeatedly. They got permanent bracelets as another show of their decision, but all the while, Bartise still described the first meeting with his family as something they “went through” unexpectedly and not something he caused.
In Episode 10, as they prepared for their wedding day, Nancy’s gift to Bartise brought him to tears over all the tenderness and care it showed. Bartise’s family was excited for him, but Nancy’s was excited and slightly apprehensive. When the moment of truth came, Nancy said “I do” at the altar. The episode ended on a cliffhanger just before Bartise gave his response.
