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With the surgence of modern ettiquette at the forefront of many gatherings, you may be wondering—are hostess gifts outdated? I’ve hosted many a gathering and it’s never been my expectation that guests arrive with a gift. But with gathering season upon us and the Paperless Posts rolling in, I’ve found myself pondering hostess gift ideas. Is showing up empty handed expected… or is there still value in arriving with some sort of token of appreciation?
Etiquette expert Heather Wiese has thoughts. Her tips on dinner party ettiquette as a whole always point to gratitude—especially where gifts are concerned. “Etiquette is a path to compassion, consideration, and even empathy when used as intended,” she explains. So, about hostess gifts—are they still necessary? “If you’re helping with the dinner itself, there might be something small in addition you can bring that says, ‘I appreciate you hosting.’ However, when you’re arriving as a carefree guest being served, a modest but thoughtful gift is a big YES.”
When you’re close to the host, it’s easier to think about what they’d appreciate. But what about when you’re invited to your partner’s great aunt’s house for family dinner—and you have no idea what she’d like? Oh! And what about an impromptu gathering? “Last week, I was invited to the home of someone I don’t know well,” Heather shares. “I had no idea of their style. I grabbed a gift tag from my stash and a fresh orchid on the way to the dinner party. Last night I headed out last-minute to a friend’s house for an impromptu dinner. I grabbed a bottle of wine from my stash so I didn’t show up empty-handed.”
In short, it’s always nice to bring a gift when you’re invited somewhere. Why not err on the side of generosity? When it comes to choosing gifts, Wiese has two simple rules: first, consider the host, and second, contribute something material. Take it the extra mile by bringing a gift that doesn’t require the host or hostess to stop what they’re doing and take care of the gift. Flowers are great, but bring them in a vessel—or opt for a potted plant or herbs instead.
Read on for an essential collection of thoughtful hostess gift ideas, perfect for gatherings of all kinds, anytime of year.
