Jimmy Kimmel And Stephen Colbert Joke About Trump’s Crazy Valentine’s Day Message To Melania

Trump gave Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel each a target for their Cupid’s comedy arrows with a crazed Valentine’s Day message.

Stephen Colbert: “No matter what deal the prosecutors offered you, you kept your trap shut.”

Colbert said:

Donald Trump celebrated the day by writing a Valentine to his wife Melania and then having his campaign send a mass email blast with the subject line “I love you, Melania.” Unsubscribe. The actual text of the Valentine is actually pretty weird. It reads “Dear Melania, I love you, even after every single indictment, arrest, and witch hunt, you never left my side. Through thick and thin, no matter what the deal — through thick and thin, no matter what deal the prosecutors offered you, you kept your trap shut. That’s what I call love. Also what our prenup calls minimum negotiated terms.”

Video:

To get more stories like this, subscribe to our newsletter The Daily.

Jimmy Kimmel: “Even graphically, it looks like a ransom letter.”

Jimmy Kimmel said:

The closest Donald Trump got to a Valentine today was an email they sent to his supporters. This is amazing and it’s real.Even just graphically, it looks like a ransom letter.  Which I guess is fitting, given Melania’s current situation. It says, “Dear Melania, I love you! Even after every single indictment, arrest, and witch hunt, you never left my side.” 

That’s a line from “The Notebook,” isn’t it?  “I wouldn’t be the man I am today without your guidance, kindness, and warmth.” Don’t blame her for what happened to you. Then there’s a little box where you can leave a message for Melania that says, “We want 100,000 responses now!” And of course, a button to make a donation to St. Valen-crime’s legal defense fund.  What a lovely and romantic gesture.

Video:

Did Trump Even Know About The Valentine’s Day Fundraising Email?

Melania Trump has nothing to do with Trump’s 2024 campaign. She doesn’t appear with him at his campaign stops, has attended exactly zero of Trump’s court appearances, and is rarely seen in public with her husband.

There is no way that Trump had anything to do with that email. It was designed and sent by a professional fundraising team.

Colbert and Kimmel were each right to go to town on this absurd cash grab, where Trump is trying to con his supporters out of cash so that he pay his legal bills.

Both comedians were funny, but it is the absurdity of Trump caring enough to send out a fundraising email blast to cover his legal bills disguised as a Valentine is just too much.

A Special Message From PoliticusUSA

If you are in a position to donate purely to help us keep the doors open on PoliticusUSA during what is a critical election year, please do so here. 

We have been honored to be able to put your interests first for 14 years as we only answer to our readers and we will not compromise on that fundamental, core PoliticusUSA value.

Jason is the managing editor. He is also a White House Press Pool and a Congressional correspondent for PoliticusUSA. Jason has a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science. His graduate work focused on public policy, with a specialization in social reform movements.

Awards and  Professional Memberships

Member of the Society of Professional Journalists and The American Political Science Association